Well Duh…

“Just ’cause I said it, don’t mean that I meant it, just ’cause you heard it…”

Remember in my previous post I said that I love Fridays because it means that I’ll very soon get 2 glorious days away from Crazy Boss???? Yeah, well sometimes I hate Fridays because I’ll get 2 not-so-glorious days with my family! One reason why is explained here.

So oddly this past weekend started out fine. It didn’t all go south until around 8:00 Saturday night when Bird informed us he had a “loose” tooth. And he almost pushes it out of his mouth with his tongue! Bird must have an attachment to his baby teeth because he is 7 1/2 and he’s only lost 2! Peanut had half her baby teeth out by that age!

Mr. G is extremely good at removing teeth. Most of Peanut’s were pulled so fast she asked him when he was going to get on with it! Me, I’m almost vomiting at Bird pushing it almost 90 degrees away from his gum line!

So Mr. G looks at it and says oh yes, that baby is ready to come out! So he gets a tissue to grab it, a wet paper towel for the “after” (gag) and then Bird clamps his mouth shut.

Mr. G: What are you doing?

Bird: Are you going to yank my tooth out?????

Mr. G: (probably thinking well duh.) Uhhh….yes. Don’t you want me to?

Bird: Yes but not if you’re going to YANK it out. Last time you YANKED it out and it hurt!!!!

Mr. G: Well it’s so loose there’s no way it will hurt. Let me get it out.

Bird opens his mouth and then almost bites Mr. G as he slams it shut again. Then Bird starts crying and wiping his eyes with the paper towel that’s supposed to be his blood catcher, so Mr. G angrily stomps off to get a new one since apparently it’s contaminated now.

So repeat the above about 10 times.

Now the thing about Motherhood that I don’t like so much is that it breaks my heart when my children are hurting and I can’t do anything other than hold them and whisper “It’s alright. shhhh.” Angel Mom always said, “You have no idea how strongly you can love someone until you have a child, but that love is also very scary because it can hurt you so easily.” And she’s right.

So needless to say by this point I am a mess. So I take Bird upstairs to provide a little TLC, snuggie,  watch tv and calm us both down. He promises that when the show is over, he’ll go down and let Daddy pull his tooth.

Or not. And then something surprising happened. Peanut started telling Bird it would be ok, Daddy pulled all her teeth out and he shouldn’t be afraid, and she starts petting him which is annoying him and he’s trying to shoo her away. But she won’t be moved from his side and keeps trying to comfort him. And then Mr. G got frustrated and started yelling, which made everyone start crying, and we started the whole nasty circle of craziness all over again.

So by this point I was mad at Mr. G for “hurting” my babies, so I took both of them upstairs again to calm us down. And then cry texted my best friend and she told me to just give him a bunch of wet paper towels and let him pull it out himself. Thanks C for not saying “Well duh!” though I know you were thinking it. 😛

Peanut is in Bird’s room and telling him he’s brave and she’ll help him feel better, and maybe they can sleep near each other if he wants, and she loves him and wishes he wouldn’t be sad anymore, just pull the tooth out. And he did. THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

He's lucky he's cute.

After all that, he’s lucky he’s cute.

Then Bird informs everyone that wasn’t so bad, and he’s got another tooth loose next to the one that came out. Great. I can hardly wait!

So now it’s Tuesday and things are back to the weekday normal where everyone, especially Bird, is annoying to Peanut. I reminded her that she was upset that he was upset on Saturday, and she said, “yeah, I didn’t mean it.”

I guess she’s going to grow up to be an Oscar winning actress then. That’s fine, as long as I don’t have to watch her wriggle her teeth out on the big screen! Wouldn’t want to ruin my popcorn by vomiting all over it! Duh!


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