The Second Thing to Do When in a Funk

So last week I mentioned I had a blast from the past. I’m struggling with it, though I didn’t seek him out, and it was all through email. I debated whether I wanted to write about it, and I’m not sure I do, at least not in great detail for however many thousands (millions?) of pairs of eyes there are in the world of WordPress. I was an English major for a reason! But to explain what I’m going to share I need to at least mention that he did something nice by making an anonymous donation, then couldn’t keep his identity secret, then told me he was a Tallywhacker back then (well he didn’t say it quite like that but it’s the new word of the day! 🙂 ) and he’s glad he could tell me he was sorry and help me now, and then closed the email account to stop further communication.

my first quote book/diary

my first quote book/diary

So because I’ve been in a funk, I did the second obvious thing people do when they’re in a funk, and looked for my yearbook and my old quote book that doubled as a diary when I began to write. My yearbook because he wrote 2 pages worth of wonderfully sappy romantic things that 17-year-old girls love to hear about them, and my quote book/diary because I knew I had written about him. I read these things and smiled and cried and wondered what if. That’s all, just wondering, but I’m a hot mess about this! Geez! I think because I had no say, and he stirred up all this stuff and then didn’t care to hear about me so I’m kinda like well WTF.

Because I need to stop or I’ll end up lying to myself and spilling the beans anyway, I thought I would share some of my early stuff. Remember I was 17. Now, if you are paying attention you know I have a teenager, but you also know I’m really not old enough to have been 17 that long ago. 😛 Ahem. The first one is hilarious, but the others I really like! Why didn’t I pursue writing sooner????

“Life is like a tossed salad. It’s all mixed up, and sometimes the things you don’t like cover up the things you do like. You have to get past the bad in order to get to the good. I hope I get to the good stuff soon, and I hope there’s a lot of it.”

“A full moon shines on the ocean’s waves and a girl alone with her daydreams. Daydreams of her and you laughing and gazing into each other’s eyes. Loving. Daydreams of holding hands or a surprise kiss that lingers. Happiness. Daydreams of being in love, together forever as a perfect couple. Us. The waves loudly crash and bring the girl out of her daydreams. I realize with a smile that my daydreams are real, for you are in them and you are mine.”

“It was you who fell in love with me, and made me blossom from shy and insecure into a person who felt pretty around boys. It was you who showed me what love was like, and how happy I could be when in love! It was you who was my Prince Charming and who made me feel so wonderful when you held me in your arms. It was you I loved. And then my heart was broken by a boy, but I could not turn to you for comfort because the boy who broke my heart was you.”

Sorry readers, since I published it myself you can’t use it against me when I’m famous. 🙂

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8 thoughts on “The Second Thing to Do When in a Funk

  1. If anyone still cares, this post was written when I was still recovering from the shock of Blast coming back into my life. You read about these things happening but they are never like you think they would be if they did happen to you. I didn’t understand why, and I was kinda a bitch about it even though he had told me up front he was going to delete the email account and fade away. But then later he asked about Nephew and we had the chance to “talk” again, so it was never that he didn’t care to hear about me, I just wasn’t ready to let go of the bad emotions and be “civil.” He did a kind thing reaching out to make a donation after so long and I should have focused more on my nephew than myself. So he wasn’t being anything I thought or implied he was being.

  2. Maybe I should guest blog? I could clear the air over the whole disappearing e-mail account, and the apparent not giving a (OOPS!) about what has happened in your life. Although, I’m not nearly half the writer you are; so maybe I’ll just wait for you to peruse my latest e-mail, and offer your translation?

    With antagonistic humor abound,
    The “Tallywacker”

  3. I just hope you’ll still remember me fondly when you are fabulously famous. You already are to us, your readers. I’ve got wonderful catching up to do. Tomorrow and Friday = no doctors, no physical therapy, no tests…just rest and reading and I’m starting from the beginning with my Yay.

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