Peanut went to theater camp last week and learned all kinds of cool stuff about how to create stage sets and figure out the lighting sequences and spotlight placements. Yes, of course I am guessing that’s what she learned based on what I read in the registration flyer because she certainly didn’t tell me anything! Believe me I asked every day, and hoped for something other than “good” or “OMG I ALREADY TOLD YOU!!!!” She did come home covered in paint most days so I figured she was at least attending the camp she was supposed to be attending.
She had to pack lunch every day, and had gotten spoiled when she attended theater camp two weeks ago as a counselor’s helper where she was allowed to use the microwave. She was reduced to making PB&J (real ones, not like the ones that Bird used to ask for…jelly but no peanut butter and extra jelly on the side where the peanut butter would go.)
She called me at work: “MOM!!!!!”
After a long pause waiting for her to say more, I said “What!????”
“OMG!!!! WE’RE OUT OF BREAD!!!!! I HAVE ONE PIECE LEFT.”
“There’s some in the freezer you can defrost.”
“OMG!!!! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!!!! I NEED IT FOR CAMP!!!!”
“Well then take the one piece and cut it in half. Done!”
“OMG!!!! I NEED MORE THAN HALF A SANDWICH!!!!”
“Well then take it out of the freezer, it won’t take long to defrost. Or take chips and yogurt or God forbid some string cheese or fruit cups to eat with it. I am busy at work by the way. I can’t leave just to get you some bread that we don’t need so you won’t have to make an effort to find the bread we do have and thaw it out!!!”
“OMG!!!! I’LL JUST CALL DAD!!!!”
He was out of the office, but if he had been available, I’m sure he would have understood the state of emergency she was in and proceeded to drop everything to buy her damn bread. But that’s a vent for another day!