Bird and I were waiting in line to pay a bill. He was playing on my phone when Peanut called. So he gave me the phone but didn’t answer. Because it’s my phone so I should answer it, you know. I would hate for Ian Somerhalder to call me and think he had the wrong number! God forbid!
When I said hello, Peanut very rudely said “WHO’S THIS??????”
I responded, “Uh, your mother, who the heck did you think it was?” Because you know I don’t say bad words and she hasn’t ever heard them! And because I was answering my cell phone! God, I am horrible.
She thought it was Bird. Ok I guess that explains the rudeness because she is almost as hateful to him as she is to me.
But it actually gets better! She says, “BRING ME FOOD. CHICKEN.”
So I say what most parents would say, “Please and thank you would be nice.” And she says what she always says, “YOU’RE WELCOME!!!”
Don’t worry Ian, I will be too surprised when you call to care about your manners.