Peanut turned 15 last month. I have no idea how that happened.
I was talking to a guy at work and I said it was her 15th birthday and I have no idea what happened but I just brought her home from the hospital yesterday!
He gasped and asked what happened???? I didn’t understand what he meant. He asked why was she in the hospital??? I laughed and said “Oh, I meant because I am not old enough to have a 15 year old and it seemed like I just brought her home yesterday and I blinked and now she is 15.”
Then he said oh yes, his wife says that too, and then tells me he would have had ten boys if he would never have had to go through his daughter’s teenage years and he is from the south so added a Lord have mercy.
Great. I don’t know if that was encouraging or not. At least I have topic security.
Dear Peanut and Bird,
I imagine you may not remember I write this blog, so maybe I will have to show you one day. It is important to me that you know how I feel, and I worry you don’t “hear” me when I tell you.
It has been a difficult year, but you have both surprised me with how you have come to terms with everything. I am still waiting for the other shoe to fall if you will. But I am relieved too that it hasn’t.
Please know that you are the most important people in my life. I love you both so much and I fear that you don’t or won’t love me back as much. But all I can do is what I think is best and hope that one day you will be ok with me and my decisions.
I have agonized every step about how you will feel and how my decisions will affect you, please believe that. I have put you first though people will not believe me.
But, they are not living my life so they do not matter to me. You matter to me. I do not feel I have been a good mother to you, so I need to do what is best to make me happy, so then I can be the happy, loving mother you both deserve. Nanny always put me first and didn’t take care of herself and I remember her as mostly sad or angry, and I do not want you to remember me like that.
Please know that no matter what, I love you more than anything else in the world. I will do anything for you.
I am trying to do my best. I promise. Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don’t, but I do try. There is no manual for parenting or life, and sometimes things change in not so good ways. All you can do is keep on and try to find a positive, there is always something to be thankful for. I am thankful that I was the one you were sent to, that I get to be mom to two special people!
I will always be your mother, and will always love you and like you too. That will not ever change. I can promise you that.
There are now two days that I have been afraid for my children and the world they are growing up in.
September 11, 2001 and November 8, 2016.
The first was a horrible act of terrorism against the United States that I could do nothing about. The second is a day I tried to do something about but I wasn’t enough to keep an obnoxious, disrespectful, unprofessional, racist chauvinist out of the White House.
I worry for the example he will set for my children and the things he will enforce that will affect their futures.
Let’s make America great again. . . . Yeah right.
15 years ago. One of those events that it seems like it just happened no matter how much time has passed. One of those events you wish you could forget but never can.
I was almost 6 months pregnant with Peanut. I couldn’t bear to watch the coverage after a while. What kind of world was I bringing this baby into? Would she be safe? I had no answers and couldn’t do anything but hope and pray it would be ok.
The Class of 2020 is the first class that will read about this attack and were not alive when it happened. They are lucky in a way that they don’t know the horror of watching the events unfold, over and over and over again.
I did not know anyone who died that day, but I will still take time to remember and pray for those who did. I will always remember.
God Bless us all. All lives matter.
So I made French bread pizza for dinner since it was only Bird and me. He kept asking me how much longer until it was done since I don’t feed him enough.
So while he was waiting he distracted himself from starvation by telling me that it would be cool if we had a robot that if you said French Bread pizza, the robot would go poof there it is in a second and then chuck the pizza at your face.
I said well, that would be fast but you would get your face burned off so no, not cool!
So he says fine. Tell the robot noodles and then when he chucked them at your face they wouldn’t be as burny hot because they are smaller. That would be cool.
I say yes but then the noodles would be slimy and moist on your face and that’s gross!
He said yeah but having a food chucking robot would be cool.
Then we went grocery shopping which was most definitely not cool. Nothing on the shelves and they stuffed the three bags I had since I only brought three I only want to use three right? Ugh!
Anyway, on the way to the store Bird says that it would be really cool to fish in the ocean and catch some random big fish that he could chuck at someone’s face. I asked why would you waste your fish chucking it at someone’s face??? He said because he could because it was only kinda big not too big.
Then at the store he starts talking about how he is going to make a game like baseball but he would use lemons because then when he chucked it at someone’s face, they would get juice squirted in their eyes and that would be funny and cool.
I said well it wouldn’t be cool for the people watching that got juice squirted in their eye because they were too close to the person you were really chucking the lemon at. He said well Mommy, they would have special cool juice prevention glasses!!!!
Oh. OK. Wonder if you have to catch them as they are chucked at your face.
There are two things I haven’t seen in so long I almost forget what they are…. The sun and Peanut’s several thousand dollar smile.
The April showers haven’t brought May flowers but more showers! And Peanut has been dealing with school drama and me and Bird being annoyingly alive… So she has been a bit moody. I know such a surprise!!!!
So of course when she asked to go grocery shopping with me late Friday night, I said sure that would be great but thought something else completely different! Yeah I said it, any parent of a teenager would totally back me up here!
She was wearing long sweatpants, and when she got out of the car she stepped in a puddle and her ankles got wet. So she rolled her pants up ridiculously high so they looked like shorts, but until she ran into the store one leg had unrolled and the other was half unrolled. She said “OMG MOM!!!! I HOPE I DON’T RUN INTO ANYONE I KNOW!!!!” I said she was probably safe that late on a rainy Friday night.
As usual when she is with me, there were alot of foods in the cart that she loves in the store that will be despised as soon as they are in the house. But she was happy so I was happy!
But somehow I left my teenager in the store and picked up another. It was raining again when we left the store, and this strange girl says, “Get in the car Mom, I will unload the groceries and take the cart back.”
Funny, she also had her sweatpants rolled up so they wouldn’t get wet! Wonder if she knows Peanut?
So Peanut had a fun day and spent the afternoon shopping at a large mall with a couple friends. Bird had a fun day playing at his friend’s house. I thought I had a fun day doing next to nothing reading, coloring and playing solitaire on my Kindle, but now I realized I forgot to get the wine out and celebrate a quiet house so I didn’t have as much fun as I could have!!!
Peanut comes home and tells me everything she bought and excitedly tells me she got shorts buy one get one free for $40!!! She was not too impressed when I said that’s a common trick to make them more expensive but you are actually paying the regular price for two then. “OMG MOM YOU DON’T KNOW FASHION!!!”
So then she proceeds to show me what she got. And it was interesting in that each item became shorter, tighter, and more revealing as she got closer to the end of the items! And also interesting was that before I could say Oh HELL no she quickly informed me, “OMG MOM! IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS YOU WEAR A TANK TOP UNDER IT OR A JACKET OVER IT!!! ALL THE KIDS WEAR IT LIKE THIS!!!!”
So I guess it’s good she knows what I am going to say when and knows how to work it so I am not upset immediately. Maybe I should tell her next time wait to show me until after I had some wine.
One year and almost 2 months of teenage hell done, only 5 million more to go! I seem to have written the same thing last year at this time! She hasn’t been home long enough for me to have new material, so that’s why I have been “quiet.” Hey, she blames me or Bird for everything, and this is my blog so of course it’s not MY fault!
Anyway. You know you missed me. 😛
A few weeks ago the G’s traveled to this crazy large sports arena “city” in a nearby town for Peanut’s volleyball tournament. As we were driving she actually talked to us! I know, I wondered if she forgot she was with her stupid, annoying, embarrassing parents! So she informs us that M’s boyfriend was coming to the game. M is also 14 so being like most stupid, annoying, normal parents, we said oh my 14 is too young to have a boyfriend!!!
Peanut did not agree. She said, “OMG MOM!” (because I was there so she must yell remember, and even though her father actually was more upset by this news, she replied to me) “NOW IS THE TIME TO ENJOY LIFE!!!!”
Oh. Well, I wish I had known there was an expiration date for enjoying life. Good thing I had Peanut to tell me my life has been unenjoyable for the last few years! She is so good at clearing things up!
The East Coast is bracing for our first significant snowfall. We were all just fine with the temperatures in the 60s last month so what the heck Mother Nature????
Anyway, in case you don’t have children, I need to tell you that no kids anywhere would be caught dead in any clothes that are cold weather appropriate! Especially winter coats because they are too bulky and hot and make them look uncool. Yes really. I can’t make this up. Look outside if there are kids in your neighborhood and you will see the truth!
So yesterday it was 20 something degrees and felt like 20 below so naturally Peanut wears a light sweatshirt and no gloves. Because the sweatshirt matched her sneakers duh!
When she got home she called me and said, “OMG MOM!!! ONE OF MY FINGERTIPS IS WHITE AND NUMB!!!! AM I OK????”
I asked if it hurt and how long it had been like that and she said that it didn’t and not long. I said well we will have to keep an eye on it but it’s probably just her hands got too cold from not wearing gloves and her body was probably telling her make it warm or she’d get frostbite.
So then when Bird gets home Peanut tells him immediately she has frostbite! So then Bird calls me and says in his cute little boy voice, “uh Mommy? I was informed that Peanut has frostbite, is that true????” and I swear he had a bit of a WTF tone!!! Look Lord, he isn’t even 10 yet, I don’t need him to start with the Tween attitude yet OK????? Thanks!
So anyway, I tell Bird, no she probably doesn’t have frostbite, I said she could get frostbite if she didn’t wear gloves!
He says Oh, good, because he didn’t want her to get a sticker from the doctor and he didn’t get one too.
No God forbid, he wouldn’t want to miss out on a sticker. That wouldn’t be too cool.
Bird and I were waiting in line to pay a bill. He was playing on my phone when Peanut called. So he gave me the phone but didn’t answer. Because it’s my phone so I should answer it, you know. I would hate for Ian Somerhalder to call me and think he had the wrong number! God forbid!
When I said hello, Peanut very rudely said “WHO’S THIS??????”
I responded, “Uh, your mother, who the heck did you think it was?” Because you know I don’t say bad words and she hasn’t ever heard them! And because I was answering my cell phone! God, I am horrible.
She thought it was Bird. Ok I guess that explains the rudeness because she is almost as hateful to him as she is to me.
But it actually gets better! She says, “BRING ME FOOD. CHICKEN.”
So I say what most parents would say, “Please and thank you would be nice.” And she says what she always says, “YOU’RE WELCOME!!!”
Don’t worry Ian, I will be too surprised when you call to care about your manners.