Nothing is Safe from Sibling Rivalry

The East Coast is bracing for our first significant snowfall. We were all just fine with the temperatures in the 60s last month so what the heck Mother Nature????

Anyway, in case you don’t have children, I need to tell you that no kids anywhere would be caught dead in any clothes that are cold weather appropriate! Especially winter coats because they are too bulky and hot and make them look uncool. Yes really. I can’t make this up.  Look outside if there are kids in your neighborhood and you will see the truth!

So yesterday it was 20 something degrees and felt like 20 below so naturally Peanut wears a light sweatshirt and no gloves. Because the sweatshirt matched her sneakers duh!

When she got home she called me and said, “OMG MOM!!! ONE OF MY FINGERTIPS IS WHITE AND NUMB!!!! AM I OK????”

I asked if it hurt and how long it had been like that and she said that it didn’t and not long.  I said well we will have to keep an eye on it but it’s probably just her hands got too cold from not wearing gloves and her body was probably telling her make it warm or she’d get frostbite. 

So then when Bird gets home Peanut tells him immediately she has frostbite! So then Bird calls me and says in his cute little boy voice, “uh Mommy? I was informed that Peanut has frostbite,  is that true????” and I swear he had a bit of a WTF tone!!! Look Lord, he isn’t even 10 yet,  I don’t need him to start with the Tween attitude yet OK????? Thanks!

So anyway,  I tell Bird, no she probably doesn’t have frostbite, I said she could get frostbite if she didn’t wear gloves!

He says Oh, good, because he didn’t want her to get a sticker from the doctor and he didn’t get one too. 

No God forbid, he wouldn’t want to miss out on a sticker. That wouldn’t be too cool. 


Magic Couch Ends Sibling Wars!

Being an only child, I have been asked at least a million times whether I missed having a sibling. I always said, “I don’t know, I guess not.” I figured why would I miss having to share toys and always having someone around to get on my nerves?

But then when my mother passed away, I did miss having a sibling since I had no one to help with the decisions I had to make, and no one who fully understood my loss.

But when I look at Peanut and Bird’s relationship, sometimes I am glad I didn’t have a sibling. I can’t figure it out most times. With hormones about to explode it’s more of a love/hate for Peanut and a love/annoy for Bird. And then it changes when one is sick. It’s almost like an extreme panic sets in.

Yesterday Peanut was complaining about everything that Bird did and said and then he started acting obnoxious on purpose to annoy her, and as usual it brought the statement that we should have had a girl instead of the most annoying creature on the Earth. Sorry I didn’t consider her needs and wants when I became pregnant.

But then he started having a belly ache during dinner and suddenly Peanut changed her attitude. The more he said it hurt the more she worried. She kept telling us he needs to go to the doctor and wouldn’t be soothed by us saying it’s not so serious to need that yet.

So then suddenly she had a belly ache! So they both went to the same couch to lay down and started playing a game on her iPod. The couch must be magical because it wasn’t long before both belly aches were forgotten and Peanut was once again complaining about how annoying he is and she can’t stand him and why couldn’t she have a sister that she would love and care about!

Nope, still not really missing having a sibling, though I wonder if I could use the magic couch to help other families and how much I could charge to create sibling harmony.

Bird or Mouse, Just Wiggle One Around Already!

If you’ve been paying attention, you might remember that I mentioned we brought Furbaby G home 2 weeks ago and it was about half a second until we were all head over heels for this cat! He is truly like no other cat we’ve ever had.

But it hasn’t all been unicorns and rainbows. No no, he hasn’t gotten into anything or done anything he shouldn’t other than stand on his back feet at the kitchen table to try and snatch our dinner out from under us, and learned that Mr. G now has a squirt bottle ready to fire to stop that habit. Though really I can’t think of a single thing that would make me give him up, because he is just so stinking CUTE and AWESOME and makes our house a home again. ūüôā

No, the problem comes from the main subject of this blog and her brother who now are fighting over who gets to play with Furbaby G and with what, and for how long before the other gets a chance because it’s not fair that they had to wait 2 seconds to fuss over him.

Bird appropriately likes to have Furbaby G play with the feathers on a stick that drives most cats crazy because they think a real bird is flopping around in front of them! Peanut prefers to have him play with a catnip mouse, which drives cats crazy because the mouse looks ridiculous but makes them feel good! And it is strictly forbidden for Bird to try and entice the cat away from Peanut with the feathers, although of course it is completely acceptable for her to use the mouse to get the cat away from Bird.

Who did I play with a minute ago?

Who did I play with a minute ago?

I really never thought I would ever say, “You know, we’re going to have this cat for years and years, there is plenty of time in those years for both of you to play with him, and in equal durations over the long-term!” Which of course they weren’t listening to me because 1. I used a big word at least one of them hasn’t heard yet so therefore I must be lecturing, and 2. because they are each waving their hands around to make their toys move in a lifelike manner hoping to interest Furbaby G. But unfortunately for them it was a fish that drew his interest…the bag of Ocean Fish and Crab flavored snacks that Mr. G was shaking!

But don’t worry, they fight over who gets to give him a treat too but that’s a blog for another day! ūüôā

Good Thing I Won’t Need Much!

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
~Dean Martin
Tonight confirmed that I will need to spend the next eight years until Peanut is out of the teen years in a drunken stupor. Now luckily I’m a lightweight, so a drink or two a night would probably be enough!
Lucky Mr. G is away Thursdays and I usually make breakfast for dinner, but I didn’t feel like cooking so said we could go out to eat. Then Peanut and Bird proceed to argue over pizza (Bird) or McDonald’s (Peanut). So I pick pizza because honestly it just sounded better! Well that was the wrong choice because clearly Bird is my favorite!
So then because I don’t want her to think that and be upset I say fine we’ll go to McDonald’s but we’re not eating it there. Well that was the wrong choice because now I lied and we’re not really eating out.
Then I wouldn’t let her have a soda, which we never do on school nights. Then I wouldn’t let her have any candy after she ate because I can’t see she’s still hungry and candy is just right to fill her up.
This is all pretty mild and normal, but the need to get drunk began when I went upstairs for 5 minutes to get out of my work clothes. I hear a thud, and then Bird sounding really strange says, “MOM!!!!! Peanut kicked my tooth out!!!!” What??? No he couldn’t have said that. So I made him repeat it and now he’s coming upstairs and I can tell he has a mouth full of something and even with mumbling around blood he says what I thought I heard him say.
Apparently he was trying to kiss Peanut and she didn’t want him to and she couldn’t get away from him so she kicked him and the tooth that I didn’t even know was loose was pushed out. Now obviously that would be a pretty slick trick for him to make up and have it be believable that she wasn’t anywhere close to him, so I called her up to find out her side.
Me: What —
Peanut: (interrupting) OMG AM I IN TROUBLE? DID YOUR PRECIOUS ANGEL GET HURT? DO YOU BELIEVE HIM THAT I DID IT????? (So that pretty much confirmed that Bird was in fact telling the truth.)
Me: Well did you kick him?
Peanut: NO! Well maybe I did but what else was I going to do when he was coming at me??????
So I explained that wasn’t the best choice to make and we don’t kick people, and she proceeded to scream all kinds of ridiculous things at me and then started in on Bird who really didn’t seem bothered by all this and was back to his usual chattering self telling me that it was good the tooth came out because now he can bite into the school’s chicken patties without his tooth hurting because it was loose enough that he had to bite sideways to not hurt his tooth. Then he settled into bed and the last thing I did to confirm that he is indeed my favorite that Peanut had to yell about was that I said goodnight to him first! Which I do every night because she’s older so gets to stay up a half hour later but I guess she never really knew that.
So you see, I don’t know what to do or say to make Peanut happy, but I do know that mixing Kahlua with just about anything will make me VERY happy. There’s my favorite.

Even Leaving her Alone is Annoying

“Sometimes siblings can get in each other’s space.”
~Gisele Bundchen

I was planning to write about how proud I was of myself because I wrote “Clean off kitchen counter” on my weekend to-do list, and I actually did it! And I didn’t do my usual “stuff it all into a plastic bag and hide the bag in the dining room” clean! But as she has done rather frequently lately, Peanut decided to provide fresh material.

So yesterday Peanut decided to rake the leaves in the backyard. Mr. G was not planning to do this because it was¬†supposed to get really windy today, but he figured ok, she’s out of Mrs. G’s hair so therefore he can continue to scream at the TV and both his girls would be happy. ¬†She did a pretty good job too, even though now today’s 50 MPH winds blew all the piles apart.

Bird was moping around because no friends were home and he was “bored.” So he asked if he could go out to rake since Peanut got to yesterday. I tried to tell him it was a waste of time, but he is like Mr. G and will not let anyone persuade him when he decides he needs to do something right this minute! So it was with the response, “Well if that’s really what you want to do right now,” that I started World War III.

Peanut was beyond pissed off that he was out there raking HER leaves. I was thinking, “Well look how cute he is, talking to himself and sticking his tongue out as he works, and he even has the rake in the right direction!” but what I wisely said was, “They’re not your leaves. And he’s content and leaving you alone so why do you care?”

Peanut: I CARE because he’s so ANNOYING!!! He always has to copy me! And you’ll probably tell HIM good job too and that’s not fair!

Me: Would you rather he be in here bugging you to play with him?

Peanut: YES because then he wouldn’t be touching MY leaves that I raked FIRST!!!!!

Me: Huh? Are you really upset by this????

Peanut: YES! You had to go and have a BOY who’s SO ANNOYING!!!!

Oh well of course, I understand completely now. :/

And then she proceeds to go back and forth from the patio door to her room knocking on the windows and yelling at him to leave her leaves alone and reminding me of the crazy old woman in every neighborhood who yells at the kids for walking on her sidewalk or thinking about walking on her sidewalk.

She yelled about this for half an hour! I was busy trying to finish going thru the kitchen clutter before I got frustrated and stuffed it all in a plastic bag to hide in the dining room so wasn’t saying much.

Wish it would look like this for longer than 30 seconds!

Wish it would look like this for longer than 30 seconds!

Then a friend called and asked to play, and I decided to allow this just so Peanut would shut the hell up about Bird! Sometimes it’s not about a consequence for their actions, sometimes you gotta do what’s best for your nerves! So I admit, I do sometimes think about what I want and don’t care that the teachable moment was wasted!

Besides, with her yelling at me I couldn’t think about new places to hide my bags of crap when the dining room spots get full!

Shhh, My Other Daughter is Talking

“I suppose I don’t hear things, but I listen, if you know what I mean. And there is a big difference between hearing and listening….”
~Evelyn Glennie

The other night Peanut was in a happy mood as I was saying goodnight. No that really isn’t a typo! She asked me if I blogged that night. I said yes, as a matter of fact, I wrote something called¬†Birds Should Be Banned¬†as a response to another blog saying I needed to end my post with “He tried to hit me with a forklift!” and it kind of made sense in the context of my blog.

Peanut says nothing but arches an eyebrow and curls her upper lip. It’s her “Mom is trying to be funny but is really just being weird but I’ll pretend I’m interested” face. At least she doesn’t say this out loud, but since I have 11 years of experience with her in my life I have learned to decipher her faces.

So of course like the good mom I am, I pretend I don’t see this face and remind her that her brother is Bird, and that this blog post was about all the reasons why he makes her life miserable.¬†Well of course this gets her attention because now we are back to talking about her favorite subject, how annoying Bird is.

Peanut: Well, what are the reasons????

I list them and she is actually nodding as if she is keeping track in her head and pleased that I have been listening to her. Then she says with a slightly smug look, “Well that’s about right, but I didn’t say them like that. I wasn’t SO rude about it.”

As my Angel Mom always said to her only child, “It must have been my other daughter I heard.” I almost said this to Peanut, but figured she was no longer listening, but probably counting sheep holding signs with more reasons Bird annoys her. Could a field even hold that many sheep?

Image courtesy of Simon Howden /

Image courtesy of Simon Howden /

Birds Should be Banned

~Peanut G

Drop by the G house at any given time and you will most certainly hear any one of the following phrases from Peanut, about Bird. It would certainly make you think that if the Higher Power suddenly declared ALL Birds, ESPECIALLY Bird G, would be banned from the Earth and never mentioned again, it would be the best thing to ever happen to Peanut besides sitting across from her 1 millionth crush in science class.

Let’s see if you can find the Non Sequitur¬†below.

  • You should have had 2 girls!!!
  • You made me grumpy because you had to have a boy when I wanted 2 more girls!
  • Any day he is in my life is the worst day ever!!!!
  • Boys are gross!!
  • Boys are stupid!!
  • Boys are SOOOOO immature!!
  • He gets everything he wants when he wants and I never get anything!!!!!
  • OMG he’s copying me!!!!!
  • He’s annoying me with his loud breathing!
  • He’s so annoying because he exists to annoy me!
  • WHY IS HE CLEANING????!?!?!!?!?! I NEVER GET TO!!!!!
  • He tried to hit me with a forklift! (Ok, so maybe you wouldn’t hear this one. But give her time, she’s becoming much more creative with her complaints so I expect she will try this one someday soon.)


    Don’t ban him until he’s done please!