Two Unfamiliar Sights

There are two things I haven’t seen in so long I almost forget what they are…. The sun and Peanut’s several thousand dollar smile. 

The April showers haven’t brought May flowers but more showers! And Peanut has been dealing with school drama and me and Bird being annoyingly alive… So she has been a bit moody.  I know such a surprise!!!!

So of course when she asked to go grocery shopping with me late Friday night, I said sure that would be great but thought something else completely different! Yeah I said it, any parent of a teenager would totally back me up here!

She was wearing long sweatpants, and when she got out of the car she stepped in a puddle and her ankles got wet. So she rolled her pants up ridiculously high so they looked like shorts, but until she ran into the store one leg had unrolled and the other was half unrolled. She said “OMG MOM!!!! I HOPE I DON’T RUN INTO ANYONE I KNOW!!!!” I said she was probably safe that late on a rainy Friday night. 

As usual when she is with me, there were alot of foods in the cart that she loves in the store that will be despised as soon as they are in the house. But she was happy so I was happy!

But somehow I left my teenager in the store and picked up another.  It was raining again when we left the store,  and this strange girl says, “Get in the car Mom, I will unload the groceries and take the cart back.”

Funny, she also had her sweatpants rolled up so they wouldn’t get wet! Wonder if she knows Peanut?

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Still in it to Win it!!!

Today I got the email telling me dream job wants me to come back to have an “interview block” with the one who would be my boss and some others and there will be a writing exercise.

WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!! 🙂

So since it’s Easter weekend and we’ve got other things going on besides that, Peanut and I went shopping tonight for a spring suit.

Peanut had fun taking my unwanteds back and bringing SMALLER sizes to me and finding the perfect accessories. Yes you read that right, I have lost a size! 🙂 Oh and yes I’m certain it was MY child with me. 😛

It was rather nice having a personal fashion designer with me. Wonder if she’ll give me a discount when she opens her own store?

It’s Not Snarky if it’s Funny

People say Peanut looks like me. She didn’t used to, when she was born there was no doubt who her father was! But as she’s gotten older she’s flipped between looking like Mr. G and me, or so I’ve been told. I personally think she looks like Angel Mom. And I would let you decide for yourself if it didn’t mean I would have to post a picture of Peanut and Angel Mom for all the internet pervs and whackos to see. (Of course not talking about any of my readers, at least I hope not. :)) So you’ll just have to take my word for it.

I’ve also noticed that now Peanut seems to be acting like Angel Mom and has become very snarky. Angel Mom had an extremely sarcastic sense of humor, and sometimes was rather hilarious. I also have a sarcastic streak about me but I always figured that was just my inner Scorpio using its stinger. But apparently snarkiness comes from genes because Peanut has started saying things that are snarky and hilarious! I don’t think it’s preteen talk when it’s snarky and funny. It’s snarky and mean when it’s preteen talk. Yes I do love the word snarky, why do you ask?

The last time we went grocery shopping, we were in the bulk candy aisle getting mini M&Ms. Peanut was weighing them when a lady says, “OH! Where’d you get those sunflower seeds????” Peanut obviously ignored the lady because she didn’t have sunflower seeds, she had multi-colored mini M&Ms. So lady taps her on the shoulder and asks her again while pointing at the bag Peanut’s holding, and informs us that she’s been looking everywhere for the “colored” sunflower seeds that don’t really look like sunflower seeds. Peanut glances at me out of the corner of her eye and I know she’s thinking, “What????”

But Peanut nicely says, “Oh these are M&Ms but the sunflower seeds are right there.” Lady happily goes to scoop out some sunflower seeds, but they looked normal to me, just sayin’.

As we walk away, Peanut puts the M&Ms in the cart, rolls her eyes and says, “Yeah it was good she asked me because these look SOOO much like sunflower seeds!”

As we cracked up, I know Angel Mom was saying, “That’s my grandaughter, she got her looks and humor from me!!!” No doubt. 🙂

Let’s Adopt a….Turtle?

Tonight Mr. G proved that he is a very smart man. Of course I suspected this, or I wouldn’t have married him, even if he did propose to me after a great day at Sea World in front of the dolphin tank after I touched a dolphin!

Since Peanut and Bird have been off school for a week now, all routines have flown out the window. Bird needs structure, and therefore has gotten himself into a bit of trouble everyday because he’s “bored.” So today he got sent to his room, and while he was there decided that he would clean off his dresser. Now before you get excited and say well that’s great that he did something without us telling him to, we don’t want them to clean their dressers without us telling them to! You see, if they clean their dressers themselves, it means we will likely have another mouth to feed because they hope I mean expect to have a sleepover.

Bird doesn’t have sleepovers yet with anyone but Mr. G, so I was wondering what else he was expecting when he announced he cleaned his dresser off so that an aquarium would fit and he could have a turtle. Oh. What?!?!! See, another mouth to feed! I guess I shouldn’t have assumed that it would always mean a human mouth!

After a yummy dinner of “hot bachi” (aka hibachi in Bird speak), I suggested we go to the pet store that partners with our local SPCA to look at the cats. Unfortunately, “our” cat wasn’t there so we are continuing to look. 😦 In case you don’t know, cats pick you, you don’t pick a cat.

None of the cats held Bird’s interest anyway since he zoomed right by their cages looking for turtles, so therefore we couldn’t meet the 2nd criteria of we all have to like the cat that picks us, or at least pretend to until the cat can work its magic and take over the reluctant heart. (Not saying any names but it’s not me or anyone younger than me that feels that way, just saying.)

Image courtesty of Danilo Rizzuti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So we look at the turtles, and OF COURSE there’s a couple there looking to buy another turtle and they proceed to tell us how wonderful and fascinating turtles are, especially to boys, so Bird gets excited because you know that’s a sign that we’re getting a turtle. So we look around at all the stuff and talk to the turtle expert….and I’m trying to be the voice of reason and tell Bird that we’re not ready to get a turtle, we don’t know how to take care of them and does he really want something that will still be living with us after he moves out???? If you have never tried to reason with a 7 year old….don’t waste your time. Because he tells me, “Mommy, I cleaned off my dresser and there will be about an inch on each side, and we can feed him lettuce and it’ll be great because I will be able to see him from my bed and I’ll have something to talk about for sharing time!”

Then Mr. G says that we will buy a book about turtles first and see what’s involved in caring for them. And then says, “If I buy you a turtle before Mommy gets her cat, she’s going to stuff me in the tank with the turtle and I’ll be eating turtle food for the rest of my life!”

See, I told you Mr. G was smart!

I’ll Wait Thanks

We'll never replace you in our hearts!

We’ll never replace you in our hearts!

So unless you live in a cave, you know that today is Black Friday and the day everyone goes crazy to get something on sale that will be on sale again in a week or 2.

Everyone but us Gs! That would be a resounding HELL NO from us. I’m not much of a shopper to begin with, but dragging Peanut and Bird along, yeah I’d rather be in a box covered in spiders and crickets and have to eat 100 of them to get out of the box. Besides most of our peeps get gift cards anyway so no need to go out today!

I did however agree to take them to the SPCA to start looking for “our” cat. 🙂

No traffic over there you see. So I completed my adoption application and we looked for any that were already declawed and older than a kitten but not considered a “senior” cat, which did you know is only 6 years old? Unfortunately we didn’t find any that met the criteria. There were only 3 declawed cats, but 2 couldn’t go to homes with children, and the other was too old. Don’t get me wrong, I personally wouldn’t care because I would love to give an elderly cat a loving home for its last years, but when you have children you try to prevent any undue cause of upset as much as possible. And yes I realize a younger cat could just as easily pass too soon and they would be upset, but that is less likely to happen and is what is best for us.

So I’m waiting until after this weekend to shop, and just a little bit longer for my cat to find me. Maybe I’ll get a crazy discount on scrapbooking stuff AND a cat on the same day, now that would be well worth the wait!

Would You Take a Nickel for That?

“I’ve never had a yard sale, ever, in my life. I don’t know if I ever thought about stuff I would get rid of.”
~Will Ferrell

So we’re having a yard sale this weekend. We are not like Will Ferrell, we’ve had many yard sales. And once you have kids and their kidless uncle buys the biggest, noisiest toys that were made by other kidless men, you do think about stuff you would get rid of. A lot.

We usually do Friday and Saturday yard sales because….shocking parenting admission coming….we can get rid of a lot of things that Peanut and Bird do not want us to get rid of, even though they haven’t looked at or thought of it for 6 months or more.  But the second it’s on a table outside, their radar perks up and we have screams of “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not the Ice Age Happy Meal toy that doesn’t do anything!!!!!! How can you sell it????? We hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

To which we reply, “You’re right. we shouldn’t sell it because it’s stupid. We’ll just put it in the free box.”

Which brings me to my point. Apparently people think that even though you are already losing 98% of the value just by selling used stuff, you should willingly give up another 1.5% so that THEY can get a great deal and have more money to go buy other people’s used stuff.

yard saleSo I have a bunch of little G clothes, and they’re all $1 per piece. I think that’s pretty reasonable, and it makes things easy for me to add in my head so it’s a win-win for everyone. So a woman picks about 10 items and asks me if I would take $1 for all of them. I know what she’s doing but I say, “yes, it’s $1 for each piece.” She patiently tells me she wants to pay $1 for all of the items. I tell her sorry, no and wonder to myself what planet she came from where she thinks that’s a reasonable offer.

So woman informs me I’m crazy, and that all these clothes are made in China anyway, so they’re not worth $1 so why should she pay that much per piece? I said well the last time I checked we weren’t in China and if she had a problem with my freedom to charge what i wanted for my clothes she didn’t have to buy anything at all.

Of course Mr. G was looking at me like I had sprouted 2 more heads because I am not usually one to be so outspoken (aka rude) but I just couldn’t help myself! I go to yard sales and I usually haggle too, but it’s usually an offer that is .50 or a $1 less, something reasonable to play the yard sale game. I don’t try to buy 1 get 9 free!

Now had she asked me about the drum set Uncle G got Bird…..

Just Stop Growing!

“I hate last-minute shopping, it’s always unsuccessful.” 
~ Cat Deeley
 
When you have a pre-teen, you are ALWAYS last-minute shopping. Or baking. Or crafting. And it never starts or ends well, and gives me especially many more new gray hairs. But those are all posts for another day!
 
So I’m going to bust a stereotype here….although female, I hate shopping! Unless it’s for scrapbook stuff or books. Then you can drop me off when they open and pick me up when they close because I will need help carrying all my loot, and no comments about the expense either! 
 
Anyway, school started 2 weeks ago. We tried to shop months ago, but children on summer vacation only hear, “let’s get ice cream” or “let’s go to the pool” or “let me spend money on you” even though what we are really saying is “We need to do really boring stuff like make sure you have clothes for school.”
 
So 2 days before school starts, Peanut informs us we need to go shopping because her backpack doesn’t match anything. And although she has 1,000 articles of clothing in 500 colors, she claims she does not have ONE THING that fits her that matches the backpack, which is a normal shade of blue. I thought I saw blue clothes in her closet but I guess I was looking in someone else’s closet and got confused.
 
So I immediately freak out and tell Mr. G that I am NOT going to the mall alone with Peanut and he can’t make me. He says we’ll all go and I can meet him at the mall after work.  Unfortunately I couldn’t think of a reasonable excuse to get out of that. Even if I said “Oops I have a fork stuck in my eye!” Mr. G would say, “Well the hospital is on the way home and they’re open all night so just stop at the mall for a minute.” Damn.
 
I get there and I can hear Mr. G yelling across the store. Wish I could say I was surprised by this. Something about retail stores makes my kids act like they have never set foot outside a day in their lives. Mr. G informs me that Bird is running around and Peanut is being difficult and why the hell we are doing this now is beyond him. (Gosh this family is giving me so much material!)
 
What Parents see:

image courtesy of marin / freedigitalphotos.net

image courtesy of marin / freedigitalphotos.net

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 what Pre-teens see:
image courtesy of Stoonn / freedigitalphotos.net

image courtesy of Stoonn / freedigitalphotos.net

 If a preteen does see any clothes in the store, it will immediately be rejected as hideous if you even whisper that it’s cute. And if you say you hate it, it’s still hideous because they know you are lying. 

Mr. G (to me, as he’s looking at a wall of pants and skirts): Look at all these! Look at all the colors!!!!! Peanut is crazy. How can there be NOTHING she likes here???? Can we hurry up I’m missing the game! Bird get back here!!!

Me (to Peanut): Look at all these pants! Look at all the colors!!!! Bird stop it!

Peanut (with a horrified look): OH MY GOD! NO! I’M NOT WEARING THAT! NO ONE I KNOW IS WEARING ANY OF THAT!!!!!  WHY DOES HE HAVE TO GO EVERYWHERE I AM???? HE’S SO ANNOYING!!!

Me: What?!!?? There’s a whole wall of pants! Why are they in the store if no one is buying them? BIRD!!!!

Peanut: BECAUSE THIS STORE IS STUPID!!!!! 

Mr. G: Will you just please PICK SOMETHING so we can go home?!?!?! Bird, get back here!!!!!

So she picked a pink tank top and Capri pants. So the problem still wasn’t solved. So because Mr. G is forgetful and I was at the hospital removing the fork from my eye, he repeated this scene again the next day, and thank the Lord she found an acceptable blue shirt. 

The only way to avoid shopping with her is if I tell her to just stop growing and stop caring about color coordination. That was easy.