The Chuck It Phase

So I made French bread pizza for dinner since it was only Bird and me. He kept asking me how much longer until it was done since I don’t feed him enough. 

So while he was waiting he distracted himself from starvation by telling me that it would be cool if we had a robot that if you said French Bread pizza, the robot would go poof there it is in a second and then chuck the pizza at your face. 

I said well, that would be fast but you would get your face burned off so no, not cool! 

So he says fine. Tell the robot noodles and then when he chucked them at your face they wouldn’t be as burny hot because they are smaller. That would be cool.  

I say yes but then the noodles would be slimy and moist on your face and that’s gross!

He said yeah but having a food chucking robot would be cool.  

I agreed.  

Then we went grocery shopping which was most definitely not cool. Nothing on the shelves and they stuffed the three bags I had since I only brought three I only want to use three right? Ugh! 

Anyway,  on the way to the store Bird says that it would be really cool to fish in the ocean and catch some random big fish that he could chuck at someone’s face. I asked why would you waste your fish chucking it at someone’s face???  He said because he could because it was only kinda big not too big.  

Oh. OK.  

Then at the store he starts talking about how he is going to make a game like baseball but he would use lemons because then when he chucked it at someone’s face, they would get juice squirted in their eyes and that would be funny and cool.  

I said well it wouldn’t be cool for the people watching that got juice squirted in their eye because they were too close to the person you were really chucking the lemon at. He said well Mommy,  they would have special cool juice prevention glasses!!!! 

Oh. OK. Wonder if you have to catch them as they are chucked at your face.  

Random Musings

Happy 4th to everyone who celebrates it!  🙂

So I am working on paperwork for my fundraiser event to send to the agency providing supplemental funds, and it involves a crazy amount of math to figure out how many hours of time were spent by everyone with any kind of involvement from beginning to end! That means you guys count too since I blogged about it and you read it! And commented! Math and I are mortal enemies, and with the realization I just came to adding more people to the count, I am naturally procrastinating right now by writing about funny things my kiddos said today, in between the normal grumpy conversations held when we’re together.

Peanut: Siri,  what is zero divided by zero?
Siri: That doesn’t make sense. Let’s say you have zero cookies you would give away to your friends. But you have zero friends because you have zero cookies so you can’t give any cookies away.
Peanut: Mom, we need cookies. 

Bird (singing while playing Playstation with a friend): I’m going to make some stew for youuuu, I’m going to make some stew for you, stew for you!!!! 

???  No idea.  🙂

So then Bird proceeds to tell friend about the pool yesterday: Did you know I went off the high dive yesterday and I had to hold my nose and keep my other hand down because it would really hurt to hit the water with my palm and did you know I went down the big slide and the other not big slide but I like the diving board better because it’s higher and cool. Oh and I ate a walking taco but they gave me a fork instead of a spoon so I dropped some on the grass but I ate the rest OK. 

Friend was not impressed based on his silence. Or maybe he was enjoying his stew. 

Update: Got up to help Bird with something and found this when I returned. Guess I’m done now. Thanks Furbaby G for saving me from math overload!!!! 🙂
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Poor Bear and My Readers

Thank the Lord!!! The goofy self-imposed writing every other day this month challenge is over!!!!  If I’ve learned anything from this is I can more easily deal with challenges I get paid for. Oh that sounds a little bad doesn’t it???? Oh well, it will add character. Thanks for reading and humoring me with my ramblings this month!

I apparently write like I scrapbook… Whatever I feel like and sometimes out of order and sometimes it’s what I planned when it’s done and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes I wish my allotted time was longer, sometimes I’m glad it’s over. The only problem with this is sometimes old pages are next to new and it makes me cringe. But I don’t go back and change the pages because they show how much I’ve grown.

I was kicking around another Here’s a Secret list for the workplace, or a funny story about Bird and him killing bugs on Father’s Day (so appropriate since I call him Bird and they eat bugs!!! I know right????) But neither of them truly appealed to me. So then I thought why not post my very first published story? Yeah, that’s the ticket. Showing my age there yes, maybe you won’t notice.

So back in the day (Oops I did it again! Twice! Ha!) there was a special edition of the evening newspaper printed on Saturday I think that was just for kids, called the “Junior Dispatch.” Yes it’s true, I was published in such a prestigious sounding publication!

I know I still have it but have no idea where it is, so sadly I can’t share my actual story, I can only share it as best I can from memory. I know but it will still be worth it I promise.

“How the Bear Lost His Tail”
By 8 year old (approximately) Yay.

Did you ever wonder why a bear has a short tail? Well I am going to tell you.

One day a bear was running around in the forest and got really tired. He didn’t want the hunters to see his long tail and chase him, so he sat down with his tail tucked into a groundhog hole. Well the groundhog thought it was a treat so he bit it. The bear’s tail got bitten off! Bear ran away and that is why bears have short tails!

Thanks for sharing you say?  You’re welcome!  😛