She Knows Me Too Well

So Peanut had a fun day and spent the afternoon shopping at a large mall with a couple friends. Bird had a fun day playing at his friend’s house. I thought I had a fun day doing next to nothing reading, coloring and playing solitaire on my Kindle, but now I realized I forgot to get the wine out and celebrate a quiet house so I didn’t have as much fun as I could have!!!

Anyway.  ūüėõ

Peanut comes home and tells me everything she bought and excitedly tells me she got shorts buy one get one free for $40!!! She was not too impressed when I said that’s a common trick to make them more expensive but you are actually paying the regular price for two then. “OMG MOM YOU DON’T KNOW FASHION!!!” 

Sigh. 

So then she proceeds to show me what she got. And it was interesting in that each item became shorter, tighter, and more revealing as she got closer to the end of the items! And also interesting was that before I could say Oh HELL no she quickly informed me,  “OMG MOM!  IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS YOU WEAR A TANK TOP UNDER IT OR A JACKET OVER IT!!!  ALL THE KIDS WEAR IT LIKE THIS!!!!”

So I guess it’s good she knows what I am going to say when and knows how to work it so I am not upset immediately. Maybe I should tell her next time wait to show me until after I had some wine. 

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Still in it to Win it!!!

Today I got the email telling me dream job wants me to come back to have an “interview block” with the one who would be my boss and some others and there will be a writing exercise.

WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!! ūüôā

So since it’s Easter weekend and we’ve got other things going on besides that, Peanut and I went shopping tonight for a spring suit.

Peanut had fun taking my unwanteds back and bringing SMALLER sizes to me and finding the perfect accessories. Yes you read that right, I have lost a size! ūüôā Oh and yes I’m certain it was MY child with me. ūüėõ

It was rather nice having a personal fashion designer with me. Wonder if she’ll give me a discount when she opens her own store?

I’ll Wait Thanks

We'll never replace you in our hearts!

We’ll never replace you in our hearts!

So unless you live in a cave, you know that today is Black Friday and the day everyone goes crazy to get something on sale that will be on sale again in a week or 2.

Everyone but us Gs! That would be a resounding HELL NO from us. I’m not much of a shopper to begin with, but dragging Peanut and Bird along, yeah I’d rather be in a box covered in spiders and crickets and have to eat 100 of them to get out of the box. Besides most of our peeps get gift cards anyway so no need to go out today!

I did however agree to take them to the SPCA to start looking for “our” cat. ūüôā

No traffic over there you see. So I completed my adoption application and we looked for any that were already declawed and older than a kitten but not considered a “senior” cat, which did you know is only 6 years old? Unfortunately we didn’t find any that met the criteria. There were only 3 declawed cats, but 2 couldn’t go to homes with children, and the other was too old. Don’t get me wrong, I personally wouldn’t care because I would love to give an elderly cat a loving home for its last years, but when you have children you try to prevent any undue cause of upset as much as possible. And yes I realize a younger cat could just as easily pass too soon and they would be upset, but that is less likely to happen and is what is best for us.

So I’m waiting until after this weekend to shop, and just a little bit longer for my cat to find me. Maybe I’ll get a crazy discount on scrapbooking stuff AND a cat on the same day, now that would be well worth the wait!

Would You Take a Nickel for That?

“I’ve never had a yard sale, ever, in my life. I don’t know if I ever thought about stuff I would get rid of.”
~Will Ferrell

So we’re having a yard sale this weekend. We are not like Will Ferrell, we’ve had many yard sales. And once you have kids and their kidless uncle buys the biggest, noisiest toys that were made by other kidless men, you do think about stuff you would get rid of. A lot.

We usually do Friday and Saturday yard sales because….shocking parenting admission coming….we can get rid of a lot of things that Peanut and Bird do not want us to get rid of, even though they haven’t looked at or thought of it for 6 months or more.¬† But the second it’s on a table outside, their radar perks up and we have screams of “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not the Ice Age Happy Meal toy that doesn’t do anything!!!!!! How can you sell it????? We hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

To which we reply, “You’re right. we shouldn’t sell it because it’s stupid.¬†We’ll just put it in the free box.”

Which brings me to my point. Apparently people think that even though you are already losing 98% of the value just by selling used stuff, you should willingly give up another 1.5% so that THEY can get a great deal and have more money to go buy other people’s used stuff.

yard saleSo I have a bunch of little G clothes, and they’re all $1 per piece. I think that’s pretty reasonable, and it makes things easy for me to¬†add in my head¬†so it’s a win-win for everyone. So a woman picks about 10 items and asks me if I would take $1 for all of them. I know what she’s doing but I say, “yes, it’s $1 for each piece.” She patiently tells me she wants to pay $1 for all of the items. I tell her sorry, no and wonder to myself what planet she came from where she thinks that’s a reasonable offer.

So woman informs me I’m crazy, and that all these clothes are made in China anyway, so they’re not worth $1 so why should she pay that much per piece? I said well the last time I checked we weren’t in China and if she had a problem with my freedom to charge what i wanted for my clothes she didn’t have to buy anything at all.

Of course Mr. G was looking at me like I had sprouted 2 more heads because I am not usually one to be so outspoken (aka rude) but I just couldn’t help myself! I go to yard sales and I usually haggle too, but it’s usually an offer that is¬†.50 or a $1 less, something reasonable to play the yard sale game. I don’t try to buy 1 get 9 free!

Now had she asked me about the drum set Uncle G got Bird…..

Just Stop Growing!

“I hate last-minute shopping, it’s always unsuccessful.”¬†
~ Cat Deeley
 
When you have a pre-teen, you are ALWAYS last-minute shopping. Or baking. Or crafting. And it never starts or ends well, and gives me especially many more new gray hairs. But those are all posts for another day!
 
So I’m going to bust a stereotype here….although female, I hate shopping! Unless it’s for scrapbook stuff or books. Then you can drop me off when they open and pick me up when they close because I will need help carrying all my loot, and no comments about the expense either!¬†
 
Anyway, school started 2 weeks ago. We tried to¬†shop months ago, but children on summer vacation only hear, “let’s get ice cream” or “let’s go to the pool” or “let me spend money on you” even though what we are really saying is “We need to¬†do really boring stuff like make sure you have clothes for school.”
 
So 2 days¬†before school starts, Peanut¬†informs us¬†we need to go shopping because her backpack doesn’t match anything.¬†And although she has 1,000 articles of clothing in 500 colors, she claims she does not have ONE THING that fits her¬†that matches the backpack, which is a normal shade of blue.¬†I thought I saw blue clothes in her closet but I guess I was looking in someone else’s closet and got confused.
 
So I immediately freak out and tell Mr. G that I am NOT going to the mall alone with Peanut and he can’t make me. He says we’ll all go and I can meet him at the mall after work.¬†¬†Unfortunately I¬†couldn’t think of a reasonable excuse to get out of that. Even if I said “Oops I have a fork stuck in my eye!” Mr. G would say, “Well the hospital is on the way home and they’re open all night so just stop at the mall for a minute.” Damn.
 
I get there and I can hear Mr. G yelling across the store. Wish I could say I was surprised by this. Something about retail stores makes my kids act like they have never set foot outside a day in their lives. Mr. G informs me that Bird is running around and Peanut is being difficult and why the hell we are doing this now is beyond him. (Gosh this family is giving me so much material!)
 
What Parents see:

image courtesy of marin / freedigitalphotos.net

image courtesy of marin / freedigitalphotos.net

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 what Pre-teens see:
image courtesy of Stoonn / freedigitalphotos.net

image courtesy of Stoonn / freedigitalphotos.net

¬†If¬†a preteen does see any clothes in the store,¬†it will immediately be rejected as hideous if you even whisper that it’s cute. And if you say you hate it, it’s still hideous because they know you are lying.¬†

Mr. G (to me, as he’s looking at a wall of pants and skirts): Look at all these! Look at all the colors!!!!! Peanut is crazy. How can there be NOTHING she likes here???? Can we hurry up I’m missing the game! Bird get back here!!!

Me (to Peanut): Look at all these pants! Look at all the colors!!!! Bird stop it!

Peanut (with a horrified look): OH MY GOD! NO! I’M NOT WEARING THAT!¬†NO ONE I KNOW IS WEARING ANY OF THAT!!!!!¬†¬†WHY DOES HE HAVE TO GO EVERYWHERE I AM???? HE’S SO ANNOYING!!!

Me: What?!!?? There’s a whole wall of pants! Why are they in the store if no one is buying them?¬†BIRD!!!!

Peanut: BECAUSE THIS STORE IS STUPID!!!!! 

Mr. G: Will you just please PICK SOMETHING so we can go home?!?!?! Bird, get back here!!!!!

So she picked¬†a pink tank top and Capri pants. So the problem still wasn’t solved. So because Mr. G is¬†forgetful¬†and I was at the hospital removing the fork from my eye, he repeated this scene again the next day, and thank the Lord she found an acceptable blue shirt.¬†

The only way to avoid shopping with her is if I tell her to just stop growing and stop caring about color coordination. That was easy.