The Chuck It Phase

So I made French bread pizza for dinner since it was only Bird and me. He kept asking me how much longer until it was done since I don’t feed him enough. 

So while he was waiting he distracted himself from starvation by telling me that it would be cool if we had a robot that if you said French Bread pizza, the robot would go poof there it is in a second and then chuck the pizza at your face. 

I said well, that would be fast but you would get your face burned off so no, not cool! 

So he says fine. Tell the robot noodles and then when he chucked them at your face they wouldn’t be as burny hot because they are smaller. That would be cool.  

I say yes but then the noodles would be slimy and moist on your face and that’s gross!

He said yeah but having a food chucking robot would be cool.  

I agreed.  

Then we went grocery shopping which was most definitely not cool. Nothing on the shelves and they stuffed the three bags I had since I only brought three I only want to use three right? Ugh! 

Anyway,  on the way to the store Bird says that it would be really cool to fish in the ocean and catch some random big fish that he could chuck at someone’s face. I asked why would you waste your fish chucking it at someone’s face???  He said because he could because it was only kinda big not too big.  

Oh. OK.  

Then at the store he starts talking about how he is going to make a game like baseball but he would use lemons because then when he chucked it at someone’s face, they would get juice squirted in their eyes and that would be funny and cool.  

I said well it wouldn’t be cool for the people watching that got juice squirted in their eye because they were too close to the person you were really chucking the lemon at. He said well Mommy,  they would have special cool juice prevention glasses!!!! 

Oh. OK. Wonder if you have to catch them as they are chucked at your face.  

That is One Big Pig!

bacon

Bird’s nine-year old mind is so endearingly bizarre!

I taught him how to make scrambled eggs and egg sandwiches, so lately one of these have been his preferred breakfast on Saturday mornings. He gets everything ready and chatters away like he does as I am trying to gulp my coffee so I can somewhat follow what he is chattering about.

So as I was making bacon he asks in his adorable little boy voice, Mommy know what would be cool? And before I can answer what he is already excitedly telling me that it would be cool if we could have never ending bacon in our pockets, and it would always be warm, and we would just break off the very tippy top so that the pocket fuzz would come off and we could just eat bacon whenever we wanted!

I did agree that was cool, but hated to waste even a tiny piece of bacon just because of pocket fuzz. I mean come on, it’s bacon! A little fuzz won’t kill us right?

Bouncing Tigger

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Nine years ago when the doctor said,  “Congratulations you have a beautiful,  bouncing baby boy!” he sure wasn’t kidding. We should have named him Tigger but it doesn’t really go well with our last name.  Plus he would have to go to Disney to find his name on anything. Which I guess wouldn’t be the most horrible thing to do!

This boy is still bouncing. He bounces off walls. He bounces anything round to see how high it bounces. He tries to bounce things that aren’t round. He probably dreams about bouncing! 

So because he still loves to talk to me and has thought of something cool that he might be able to bounce, he excitedly asks me,  “Mommy, wouldn’t it be cool if we could bounce on our heads????”

Me: Umm no. It would hurt a lot.

Bird/Tigger: Yeah but it would be so cool anyway if we could!

And off he bounced, probably thinking about what he could bounce off his feet as he bounced on his head and how cool he would look.

Random Musings

Happy 4th to everyone who celebrates it!  🙂

So I am working on paperwork for my fundraiser event to send to the agency providing supplemental funds, and it involves a crazy amount of math to figure out how many hours of time were spent by everyone with any kind of involvement from beginning to end! That means you guys count too since I blogged about it and you read it! And commented! Math and I are mortal enemies, and with the realization I just came to adding more people to the count, I am naturally procrastinating right now by writing about funny things my kiddos said today, in between the normal grumpy conversations held when we’re together.

Peanut: Siri,  what is zero divided by zero?
Siri: That doesn’t make sense. Let’s say you have zero cookies you would give away to your friends. But you have zero friends because you have zero cookies so you can’t give any cookies away.
Peanut: Mom, we need cookies. 

Bird (singing while playing Playstation with a friend): I’m going to make some stew for youuuu, I’m going to make some stew for you, stew for you!!!! 

???  No idea.  🙂

So then Bird proceeds to tell friend about the pool yesterday: Did you know I went off the high dive yesterday and I had to hold my nose and keep my other hand down because it would really hurt to hit the water with my palm and did you know I went down the big slide and the other not big slide but I like the diving board better because it’s higher and cool. Oh and I ate a walking taco but they gave me a fork instead of a spoon so I dropped some on the grass but I ate the rest OK. 

Friend was not impressed based on his silence. Or maybe he was enjoying his stew. 

Update: Got up to help Bird with something and found this when I returned. Guess I’m done now. Thanks Furbaby G for saving me from math overload!!!! 🙂
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That’s Why Making the Bed is Easy

Peanut and Bird do not like to change their sheets and would keep them on for 100 years if they could. Too bad they would make it in the Guiness Book of World Records but wouldn’t be alive to know it!

Unfortunately they are both in a phase where they hang on every word Mr. G says and ignore me so I have to tell him to tell them to do something! So today Mr. G said they would not be allowed to play Wii until after they changed their sheets. After a little protesting Peanut did hers, but Bird has been wandering around and complaining because you know that makes things do themselves, and much quicker than if he would just do what he was told to do when he was told to do it.

Bird: No thank you I don’t want to change my sheets.

Me: I don’t recall asking if you wanted to change them. You need to change them.

Bird: I’m only 8. Plus it’s 7:30 now, I usually start at 12 it takes me all day.

Me: You are old enough to change your sheets. Someone can help you tuck them in and it does not take all day, even if you have a really big bed.

Bird: You’re treating me like I’m 20. Besides, you don’t have any stuffies on your bed so it’s way easier for you to make your bed!

Never thought of it like that, I guess he has a point there. But he still has to change them.